I guess if there was one thing that I hated more than anything, it was when my parents argued...

They have been at it for months now. My father is being a real asshole. All my mom does is treat him well, but he treats her like garbage. Every time they get into an arguement, he always tells her not to use me and my sister to go aganst him such as, "Leats stop fighting for the kids." or "How do you think the kids will feel?" My mom would never use us like that. At that, my mom is always honest with me. She never hides a single detail from me when they fight. The reason I believe her is because of the fact that I am starting to see my father's true colors after so many years.

My father seperated from my mother when I was about eight years old. I was really sad at the time, but I learned to get over it now. But whenever my mom allows him to return, he starts off acting real nice and stuff and then he turns into the asshole my mom knows him as. I guess thats why I am never really upset when he leaves. But when he does leave, he always gets together with one of his female friends and he always treats her kids better than what he ever treated me and Clarissa (My 4 year old sis.) Whenever I ask him for things, he would always get it for the other kid before me. At times, it makes me feel like he doesn't love me or Clarissa. He never wants to see us, he acts like he doesn't know who the hell my mom is, and he lies to people saying that my mother never lets him see us.

Why does he do this? Even if he is such an asswipe, I still have good memories with him and I would always wish that we could just return to the good ol' days... :(

Now, he might not join us for Thanksgiving. I'm so pissed. All he is concerned about is looking for an apartment so he can leave. He is going to another person's house for Thanksgiving...I don't get it...why?

I think that this is the only time I have ever really expressed myself like this. All these feelings inside me... sadness, worry...anger...I just want it all to stop...

Now I must be strong for Clarissa, who will be so confused at what is going on. I want to be able to tell her that everything is gonna be alright, even if dad goes away...